


Eleven - TARDIS

by GrumpyJenn



Series: River and the Doctors [7]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-28
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2017-11-17 05:54:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/548323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpyJenn/pseuds/GrumpyJenn





	Eleven - TARDIS

“Spoilers.”

The Doctor spoke in a whisper, knowing that if his voice was any louder he’d start shouting, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop. River stepped toward him again, wrapping her arms around him and holding tight. “Don’t,” he said hoarsely, afraid that if she showed sympathy he’d break into a million little pieces, and she stepped back, looking as though he had struck her.

Perhaps he _had_ , in some humany wumany way he didn’t quite understand, and so he grasped her wrist before she could move further away from him. “Wait,” he said, still hoarsely, and scrubbed at his face with his other hand, running it through his hair. He looked terribly tired, River thought, even old. It was so startling on his baby face that she caught her breath and spoke without thinking.

“I lied,” she said softly, “When I told you that you embarrass me.” She looked down at her wrist, the one he had healed and kissed and now held. “You don’t. You never did. I... I needed to...”

“To keep your vulnerable side well-hidden,” he finished for her in a quiet voice.

“Yes.” It was _that_ yes, the same one she had used outside her parents’ wedding, a yes with layers of meaning that he understood now, all _yes_ , and _I love you_ and _I’m sorry_.

“Not from me,” he said urgently. “ _Please_ River... don’t hide it from me.”

She shook her head. “From you most of all.”

“ _Why?_ ” The word was plaintive, anguished, River thought, and she struggled to explain without hurting him even more.

“I... if I keep it hidden, it isn’t... it doesn’t...”

“It doesn’t feel real. You feel stronger.”

River nodded. “Yes,” she said, and there it was again. The _yes_.

It was all he was going to get. “When it gets too much to bear...” he said hesitantly, and she finally smiled at him. It was a small and sad smile, but a real smile nonetheless.

“When it gets too much to bear, I will try to show you.” She grasped his other hand, the one not holding her wrist, and pulled him out of the repair sling.

“I miss them too,” the Doctor whispered as he buried his face in her curls. “I’ve been trying to be... to be strong for you, ever since they... since you watched the Angel when I... broke down. I...” he trailed off and inhaled the scent of her hair to calm himself. River felt the first tear filter through her curls and onto her scalp, and wondered how she could have missed it. Except for that one moment in her gymnasium, he’d been unfailingly polite and kind for weeks now. Not that he wasn’t usually kind, but... _oh my poor love,_ she thought, _I thought you had recovered.._.

He shook his head and that’s when she realised she’d said it aloud. “I’m sorry, River,” he said in that exhausted voice. “I... I knew I would miss Amy, and the shock of it nearly destroyed me. I...” he took a deep and shuddering breath. “I didn’t realise how much I would miss Rory though. He...”

“He was your father-in-law, but for all intents and purposes he was your brother.” She could say it now, still sad but no longer too grief-stricken to function.

The Doctor nodded. “And my... my human conscience, I think. Like Donna. Did I ever tell you about Donna Noble?” She shook her head; she knew about Donna in the historical sense, but she’d never been _told_... all she knew was that whatever had caused Donna to leave him had hurt him terribly. “Best temp in Chiswick, a hundred words a minute,” he was saying fondly, and River smiled and tugged him gently toward the stairs. They would be alright now, she thought, now that they each knew when the other was hiding that vulnerable side.

They would be alright now, he thought as he chattered about how important Donna Noble had really been, until the end.

River’s end.


End file.
